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Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Pushing Through Darkness

published on November 8, 2023
The Scream (1895) by Edvard Munch. Original from The MET Museum.

I hope everyone reading this is doing well despite all the doom and gloom world events clamoring for our attention constantly. It's very overwhelming.

I would love to tell you that none of the darkness and fear has affected me, but that would be a lie.

I'm not going to focus on all the bullshit that's going on. There's no reason to since it's pounded into us all day, every day, by the powers that be and their crony media.

Straight-up propaganda bought and paid for by those who do not have our best interests at heart.

Hard Lessons For A People Pleaser

I did a disservice to everyone for not saying exactly how I felt. My posts in the past were trying to skirt controversy and be pleasing to everyone. It was a fool's errand.

I felt my opinions and thoughts were unimportant, and I didn't want to add to the noise that consumes us daily. But I was wrong.

I tried to be everything to everyone, and that's not possible. I've tried as hard as I could not to rock the boat or create waves out of respect for others, but I lost myself in doing so.

I have the greatest love and respect for others, but I also have the same love and respect for myself.

I'm not for everyone, and I'm more than okay with that. However, I am for some, and that's why I will continue to do this for as long as I can.

I will keep trying to communicate my heart until I'm no longer allowed to speak. It may not be for that much longer.

I hit a wall a few months back, and I've been stuck in a freeze state. I'm having a hard time just writing right now.

I've been in a dark place, slowly trying to claw my way through. It's a struggle, and I have lost battles many days, but I'm still here.

I'm unsure how much darkness is left, but I have come a long way. I am not the same person I was even a few months ago.

I've been overwhelmed by the chaos of everything coming at me. I was lost, not knowing what to do next.

Do I keep spending time, energy, and resources on music, or do I quit and ensure I'm ready to be more self-reliant when society collapses? I tried to do both, and I'm burnt out.

Fight, Flight, or Freeze

This is me fighting through the freeze state. This is me fighting to stay consistent even when I felt like I couldn't lift my soul off the floor.

I'm exhausted physically, mentally and spiritually.

But as things get darker, the light of truth shines brighter than ever. The darkness is being exposed left and right.

The world is truly being divided in two. One world spirals toward love, healing, and positivity, and the other spirals toward negativity, death, and destruction.

The time feels short, as if it's imminent that everything is about to change drastically.

I don't know what's exactly coming, but we are on the precipice of something. You can tangibly feel it.

I have been frozen by the future and the fear of what's coming. Now, I no longer care. I will keep doing what I'm doing until I can't anymore.

Wheat From Chaff

I'm tired of sitting around waiting for death. Death will find us all soon enough, and I do not fear it, and neither should you.

Death is not the end but a new beginning. If you don't believe this, I'm probably not for you.

I will not spend time or energy arguing or defending what I believe. I don't have to, and I don't care to.

If you think I'm spreading "misinformation" and I need to be censored, I'm not for you, and you are free to leave anytime.

As of right now, I still have the freedom to speak. If you believe that other's thoughts and ideas need to be subjugated because you disagree with them, I'm not for you.

While I'm at it, if you think a people group has to be subjugated and forced to do something against their will for the greater good, I'm not for you.

If you're frothing at the mouth with bloodlust and screaming for a people group to be genocided, again, I'm not for you.

I'm not trying to sound harsh, but I want to be very blunt about who I am so there is no mistake.

If This Reaches But One Heart...

If you're still reading, thank you for not leaving.

I'm not trying to be off-putting. I'm tired and don't want to deal with stupidity anymore. You're probably feeling the same way right about now.

My thoughts, lyrics, and music might seem dark, but they always reach for the light.

I will always hold the line for love, hope, faith, truth, and redemption. Love is the only thing worth fighting for.

Love is the path that spirals up and is also the path less traveled, but that's a topic for another time.

I am working on new music, have many song ideas, and always coming up with more.

I have been knocked down, but I'm not out. I'm being bent, but I'm not broken.

If anything, I hope to inspire you and others to pursue what you are most passionate about.

I'm not sure how this will work out, but I can't afford to quit. I will lose my very self if I do.

I fear many things, but a life unlived is what I fear most.

Yes, I have fears.

Bravery isn't the absence of fear; bravery is standing up and facing the fear. The greater the fear, the greater the bravery.

Yes, you will feel afraid, but do it anyway. I'm trying, will you?

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